Deranged Marrage
by AxelKanjoVIII
Summary: Roxas and Sora are two normal guys, who just so happen to be in love with their best friends. Unexpectedly their mother plans for an arranged marrage with the Gainsborough twins. AkuRoku/SoRiku rated m for later!


Ok, so this is my first ever fanfiction o.0

so go easy on me!

Axel K.

I awoke to my way-to-bright-and-optimistic-room, and an annoying brunette at he foot of my bed. I could already tell this scene wasn't going to end well.

"Roxas!" Sora flew and landed directly on my stomach. I took a quick glance at my clock before throwing at my twin's head. He dodged it and it hit the wall and broke. I paid no attention to it.

"Why the hell am I awake at 10:00?" I asked him. I'm used to sleeping until at least 3.

"Well, I've been awake since 7:30. Today were going to Axel and Riku's apartment!" He cheered, while trying to pick up the remains of my clock. Axel, Riku, Sora and I had been best friends since we were little. Actually, Riku and Axel were cousins. Riku, was also bi, and has been crushing on Sora since 8th grade. Now, were all graduates of Destiny High, Sora remains oblivious. He's definitely not the brightest almost-eighteen year old.

"Hurry up, lazy." He called, running out the door. I reluctantly got out of bed, and began my morning schedule. I walked to the bathroom, grabbed my favorite bottle of Axe, before falling on my ass, slipping on the wet floor.

"Damnit," I cursed, trying to get up. As I looked under the counter, I noticed that every single bottle of my beloved Axe collection, (23 bottles) now read "Axel". Damn my sexy best friend. Damn him. Yes, Axel is **my **best friend while Riku is pretty much Sora's. He's also the redheaded wonder that loves to invade my personal space. Not that I cared much. I supposed I had a crush on him… I mean, who wouldn't? His eyes are the most amazing green, he was perfectly toned, he had an eight pack damnit! His hair was shockingly natural red. I know that because someone, I don't want to mention any names, *coughaxelcough* forgot to where underwear and got de-panted in gym. What a sight that was, my eyes were permanently scarred. I shocked myself back to realty when my hot skin came in contact with the icy cold water of my shower. Sora must have used all the water in his 2 hr showers.

"SORA YOU BASTARD!" I yelled. I could hear his giggles coming from the other side of the bathroom door. (Are rooms aren't connected, just the bathroom.) Stupid me forgot to notice that I had the hot water pump on, and cold water was running. All of a sudden the water turned scorching hot and I let out a manly squeal. (lol) Curse my mother for giving the crazy twin the room with the water control. Sora was laughing his ass off. I ignored him, and set the water back to normal, finished my short shower and stepped into the cold brisk air of the bathroom. I opened up the door leading to my room, and grabbed 2 towels. I wrapped myself in one, and using the other, I tried rubbing my hair dry. I removed the huge fluffy towel, only to see my reflection. I looked like some, short, scrawny, kid with a fat yellow cat on my head. I sighed and reached for my brush. I couldn't find it. I got up and went to leave the bathroom, maybe Sora took it, and was blinded by a flash.

_Click_

"Sora you jerk!" I yelled, glaring daggers at my brother who held the camera in one hand, my brush in the other. He tossed the brush at me, and right when I lunged at him, he laughed and called out,

"Oho! This is so going on the internet. Better yet, I'll give it to Axel! Hahahahahaa" he ran out of the room. I really wasn't worried. I knew where the punk hid his Mickey Mouse diary, I could easily sell that to Riku for 20 bucks. I sighed and walked over to my bathroom, and tried to tame my neko hairstyle. After succeeding after many failures, I walked over to my overfilled closet, which was full of polo's and sweater vests, all courtesy of my mother, of course. I turned and walked to my dresser, where I pulled out my favorite shirt and pants, and quickly got dressed. I then headed downstairs, where I was warmly greeted by the everyday smell of strawberry pancakes. I loved my mother to death, mostly because of how she treated me and my brother. She never hit us, or yelled, so we had enough respect for her. She was also very successful, even as a single mother. Tifa Lockheart was one of the most well known lawyers in Twilight Town. Our mom never took our dads last name. Cloud Strife was his name, and he was killed when me and Sora were four. Riku's dad Sephiroth was Cloud's best friend, and Axel's uncle… Seph really helped my mom raise us, by babysitting us every day while she worked. And for free too. She's really protective of us, so this was an everyday thing.

"Did you guys have a good time at the beach? Was it safe?" She asked, setting down a huge stack in front of Sora and I.

"Yah mom."

"Good. I have some real important news to tell you, after you eat of course!" She said, bounding away, her jet black hair in a loose bun. She was very pretty even at 32. I don't know why she doesn't want to start dating again, I mean, Sora and I will always have one dad.

Sora was eating so fast he kept stopping to choke. After many scenes of choking from Sora later, our mom sat down next to us, coffee cup in hands. She only drank coffee when she was nervous.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Well, do you guys know my friend Aerith's daughters, Kairi and Namine Gainsborough? The Twins?"

"Yea, I've seen 'em around," Sora and I both replied. It was a twin thing.

"They went to Twilight Academy. I really don't want to spring this on you but…" She droned off.

"Please, Mom, I got to be at Axel's apartment in twenty minutes." It was 12:30. I went to stand up, and was shushed down.

"Sit."

I sat.

"Do you like these girls?"

Sora and I looked at each other. "Uh…No."

She took a deep breath. "Well, you might have to. Aerith and I have planned an arranged marriage for you both."

Sora dropped to the floor. I gagged.

"Oh come now boys." Tifa said. "It'll be great. Roxas, you and Namine make a perfect couple. Sora, Kairi is such a cutie! I will make it the best wedding in the world!"

Now it was Sora's turn to gag.

I kinda fuzzed out a bit…. While my mom was talking. Sora just sat there, stuttering and trying to get out full words.

"Mom! Were not even 18, we cant, were just out of high school, I'm joining the army, err.. I have marriagaphobia or something!" Sora tried.

"But you boys will be in August."

**OH.**

"The marriage will be perfect, ill call the flower department-"

**MY.**

"Maybe your friend Marluxia can get a discount-"

**GOD.**

"I'll have to order a tuxedo, what expense-"

"NO FUCKING WAY!" I yelled, yanking my brother off the chair. "We're going to Axel's apartment. NOW."

I burst through the front door with a stuttering Sora at my heels.

I'm never marring Namine.

Never.

Not if I can help it.

I burst out the back door, flew down the driveway, into the garage and yanked open the passenger side of my shiny silver Volvo C70 and threw Sora in. I got for my 16th birthday, but that's not important. What's important is that I'm marrying at 18, to a selfish, skankish whore. Now, even my tiniest chance of ever being more than friends with Axel is gone. I may never know if he loves me or even likes me. Never.

I ran around to my side of the car and opened the door. I flung myself in the drivers seat. My phone buzzed inside my pocket. It was a text from my mom.

**I'm srry hun but u hav 2 an ur goin on a date w/namine 2morow ****L**

My mom, only 32 can text like a 16 yr old girl. I texted back quickly:

**Nvr mind. Idc she is kinda cute ty mom.**

I wasn't in the mood for a fight. I almost threw up writing that one.

She just sent a smiley. I turned to my still stuttering twin and slapped him across the face.

His eyes got wide.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT I CANT MAKE OUT WITH HER SHES TOO UGLY IM TOOOOOOO TOUNG TO DIE!" He put super emphasis on the "too".

He put his head on the dashboard and began to cry. I put my arm around him as we pulled out of the driveway.

"Don't worry about it. We'll find a way out of this. Just tell Riku and every thing will be fine."

It least, that what I hoped for.

* * *

Axel's POV

"Riku you manwhore! Stop fantasizing about your best friend and get your lazy ass off the couch and help me clean!" I yelled at the silverette lying on the couch.

"Easy, Easy!" He sitting up. "Don't forget your little man crush is coming to."

Somebody really wanted an ass kicking.

"Riku I swear to god I light your girly ass hair on fire and die the roots pink if you don't get off your lazy good-for-nothing-"

"Okay, porcupine. Enough with the threats, ill go get the mop-"

"The HELL you will. That's just another excuse to go work things out with Riku Jr., you horny little freak. Roxas and Sora will be here any min-"

The door bell rang.

Shiiiit.

It rang again.

"Axel open this fucking door!"

That was my Roxy.

My phone lit up on the counter.

_You and me baby aint nothing but mammals_

_So lets do it like they do on the discovery channel,_

_(do it again now)_

_You and me baby-_

"**Cheloha!" **I answered.

"**Answer the fucking door before I break it down."**

"**Pushy"**

"**Exactly."**

He hung up. I muttered a few words, and made my way to open the door. I almost began to say my usual greeting but was met with a glare from Roxas and a whimpering Sora.

"Axel. We need to talk."


End file.
